910. "American Idol" world court

From The New Yorker:

RYAN SEACREST: Welcome, everyone. I’m your host, Ryan Seacrest. Thanks to the overwhelming success of “American Idol,” our panel of judges has been asked, by the international community, to rule on issues affecting us all. So let’s get started: What’s the deal with Iraq?

PAULA ABDUL: You know, I love the Shiites and the Sunnis and all of the other sects. I just think they are all so special and I just wish they could all get together and realize how special they are.

RANDY JACKSON: But, man, that Saddam Hussein dude—I was not down with that. He would not be my choice for Iraqi Idol. For a bloodthirsty tyrant, he was just average, just so-so.

and the rest...